


Xmas tag

by provencepuss



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-30
Updated: 2013-06-30
Packaged: 2017-12-16 16:03:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/863916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/provencepuss/pseuds/provencepuss





	Xmas tag

A XMAS STORY

The Pits was full. The booze had been flowing for a while and the place was thick with cigarette smoke. Huggy was dressed as the most way out MC since Joel Gray in Cabaret. He was wearing Huggerino the Magnificent’s top hat; a mauve satin cutaway; green and yellow striped pants and a red bow tie that rotated as he spoke. 

So far the entertainment had included Hutch singing what Starsky called “that weird recipe”; Starsky had pulled off a couple of magic tricks – including escaping from his own handcuffs. Dobey had given them a soft shoe shuffle and Huggy even managed to get the five ring trick right.

The audience was getting more and more hysterical.

Backstage Hutch whispered to Starsky “I don’t know why I let you talk me into this. I’m supposed to be on a plane to Minnesota at ten.”  
“Relax Blintzie; I’ll get you to the airport on time. Now hurry up and get into the costume.”

  
“Ladies and Gentlemen! No well on second thoughts looking at you lot: Folks!” Huggy was about to announce the big final number.

“Presenting the duo you hate to love; the best cops in the neighborhood; the craziest pair of dudes to ever bust a deal…”  
Starsky hissed from the wings “Get on with it Huggy; it’s hot in this costume!”

Huggy banged a drum and blew Starsky’s police whistle. “Presenting the two and only…the amazing…the wonderful…Starsky and Hutch!"

The jukebox started to play Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer and a pantomime reindeer came out onto the stage. It started to do a cross-legged soft shoe shuffle and the Juke-box was silenced. The reindeer “danced” from one end of the stage and the mouth flapped open and closed; it started to sing an obscene version of the song and then collapsed in a heap of legs and antlers as the two men inside started to laugh.

The rear end separated from the front end and Starsky removed the head to reveal a second pair of antlers poking up from his curly mop. Both men were dressed in dark T-shirts and the fluffy brown reindeer costume legs.  
He grinned over at Hutch and said.  
“Don’t know about Blondie; but I’m hot!”

Someone switched the jukebox on again and the “stripper theme” filled the bar.  
Starsky started to swagger from left to right. He started to raise his T-shirt then pulled it down again and winked at Hutch – at the same time he removed his antlers with a flourish and threw them into the crowd.  
Hutch was one step behind.  
In perfect harmony the two of them took off their T-shirts; Starsky looked particularly mischievous as he peeked back over his shoulder and shimmied his.  
Hutch was still a little handicapped by a sore shoulder but he did the best he could.

Hutch nearly fell over trying to get his “legs” off over his shoes and stopped to watch as his partner neatly kicked off one trainer –it just missed Huggy’s head – then the other which went flying somewhere deep in the crowd. Hutch noticed that Starsky had the good sense to have taken his socks off earlier.  
Starsky swayed his hips suggestively and did a variation of a belly dance as he carefully lowered his “legs” and stepped out of them.  
Both guys grinned wickedly at the audience and tucked their thumbs into the bands of their Y-fronts.  
It was the two mini Mars lights and where they were positioned that brought the house down!

  
The jukebox switched over to We Wish you a Merry Christmas.

 

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